(Blood) Bank of America

The definition of a Zombie:



Some Zombies' take
longer to die.

 Zombie  is a term used to denote an animated corpse brought back to life by mystical means, such as witchcraft. The term is often figuratively applied to describe a hynotized person bereft of consciousness and self-awareness, yet ambulant and able to respond to surrounding stimuli. Since the late 19th century, zombies have acquired notable popularity, especially in North American and European folklore.

Zombie Bank-is a financial institution that has an economic net worth less than zero but continues to operate because its ability to repay its debts is shored up by implicit or explicit government credit support.

Sometimes, when an organism becomes so destructive that it threatens to wipe out all other organisms, extinction could be seen as a good thing  ( small pox comes to mind )
The same thing goes for zombie banks, especially the most dangerous of all the zombie banks -- the systematically risky Vampyroteuthis infernalis bankofamericanis  translated literally means vampire squid bank from hell.

With their long velar filaments deployed, the Vampire Squid Bank has been observed drifting along in the deep, black financial currents. If the filaments contact an entity (such as a wide-eyed home-buyer), or if vibrations impinge upon it, the creature investigates with rapid acrobatic movements approving loans, where unsuspecting victims sign on the dotted line just prior to slaying. These monsters are capable of closing predatory loans at speeds equivalent to two body lengths per second, with an acceleration time of five seconds.

With a down-grade under its belt, and its stock prices sinking into the murky depths, Bank of America is once again trying to raise capital by gouging its customers. This time however, they are targeting small business accounts by cutting lines of credit and forcing many to pay off their balances within an impossible time frame.

With so many small business customers nearly bled dry, the now starving beast is attempting to extract the last drops of liquidity small business customers have left in their parched accounts.To feed it's insatiable appetite the too-big-to-fail predator is offering a one time option of paying all your owed blood money in the form of one big payoff clot, or pay later, and longer, at a higher rate...... one drop at a time.

This new blood letting payment plan comes complete with a 12% interest hike and expensive annual draining.

Anemic business owners complain that B of A's credit squeeze is abrupt and could strain their small companies and even put them out of business. The credit cutoff is coming at a time when the economy can't seem to catch a break, and bucks what the financial industry says is a new trend of easing standards on business loans.

In one example, one customer was told in a letter that they had one month to pay the $96,000 debt to avoid the higher interest rate.

One such customer, Babak Zahabizadeh, was told in a letter that the $96,000 debt carried by his Burbank messenger service must be repaid Jan. 25. A loan officer offered multiple alternatives over the phone that Zahabizadeh called unaffordable, including paying off the debt at 12% interest over two years. That's about $4,500 a month, nearly 10 times his current interest-only payment.

Capping credit lines on small business owners is the latest assault on customers from CEO Brian (Squidman) Moynihan, who so infuriated debit card users with his $5 fee that he was forced to change his strategy. This time around it's the veins of small business owners being opened for draining - by those long slender tentacles.





A Bank of America spokes-squid said a "very small percentage" of small-business customers have been affected by the changes. When pressed for actual numbers of how many businesses would be bankrupted, by the new rule, the slippery spokes-squid released a cloud of black ink and retreated back into its grotto.


Sometimes extinction is a good thing.



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